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Sunday, July 24, 2005

Phone Call

Posted: 2005-07-20T02:24:06Z

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Its been a great day i just talked to someone really special to me and i just thought i would right this because i will forget by morning because of all the math i will have to learn and there is just a little space in my mind so yeah i talked to him it was great to hear his voice and even though i am going to be really tired it was worth it, he is right i should date someone else and see how it is i mean i have done things with other guys but they just suck i dont know its not the same god i am such a loser, and all the people that do ask me out its just because they think i am hott or something which i dont think i am but whatever and i think most of them just want to try to get me in bed or something i dont know stuff like that has happened recently not having sex or anything but something i felt really uncomfortable with but i was intoxicated and just messed up so it did not matter i just hope it doesnt happen again, anyways i talked to him and it was just like when we started dating like that feeling i have for him doesnt go away no matter what like a little school girl having a silly crush its gay i hate but love it i just talked to one of the guys that want to go out with me and told him what my ex said and they asked again if i wanted to go out with them but i am not sure i told them i am not sure i do but i dont want to get over paul he is really special to me i don know i need more time to think about it we talked about alot of stuff me and paul i really wish he would come down here but i mean if i see him again i think i will just fall more in love with him like i always do i dont know what to do but i hope i can figure it out

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